Honest Words on Friendship

September 29, 2022

Reminder: if you want friends, be a friend. Finding friends, like true deep friendship, is hard to find as we get older. But what if it’s not actually something to be found, but instead we create it?

Friendship in my adulthood has honestly been one of my deepest longings & biggest struggles. Not that long ago I found myself severely lonely & struggling as a new, young mama. I was living & working alongside people, who definitely were friends, but very few of them were married and/or had kids. I still loved hanging out with them, our conversations would be rich & life giving, but there was honestly something missing. I had a deep longing to connect with other young mamas.

So I tried. And I haven’t stopped trying. In each new season I’m the one inviting (not always, but a lot of the time), I’m the one hosting, I’m the one reaching out & asking questions, I’m the one who creates the play groups. And I don’t say this out of pride, I say it because it’s actually really tough to do & vulnerable and I’ve learned that if you feel lonely there’s someone else who’s lonely too. We need each other. And I’ve met so many sweet mamas because I chose to be brave.

And you know what else? I’ve become the friend who gets to be the first to celebrate when a friend is pregnant! I also get to be the friend they call when it turns out they lost their sweet babe. The moments of joy & moments of grief are all there, in the spaces between the invites & phone calls, play dates & backyard patio beers.

What do you do when you feel lonely? Who could you reach out to today? What kind of community do you crave? How can YOU build it?