Our days and weeks are finally in rhythm. After a summer of fairs and boating and camping and gardening, to early fall being filled with new schooling routines and reaping our last harvests, our family has settled into our usual routines and rhythms of work and school, cleaning and preparing, resting and play.
Out of all the changing seasons life inevitably brings, the Sabbath has always been one rhythm and spiritual practice I’ve kept for the last 12 years. And the biggest lesson I’ve learned time and again through the discipline of the Sabbath is: The sabbath doesn’t affect one day out of a given week, it affects the other six days as well. This has been proven true when I was a college student, single and moving across the country, newly married and now with littles. Our entire week is established around one day. And because life has varying seasons, the sabbath practice has changed and varied over the years as well.
I often hear other moms say the sabbath is a someday dream for their family. So I wanted to share what we are currently doing to prep and celebrate the sabbath in our home, hoping to give deeper insight (not a right or wrong way to do it) and to inspire (not guilt) you to start right now in this very season.
Two things to note: the Sabbath takes prep work and intention, it won’t just simply happen. And secondly, it’s a whole family affair.
Being intentional about the way we spend our days is a God-honoring way to live, but it takes sacrifice and diligence, so in order to set aside an entire day dedicated to stop, rest, delight and worship, there needs to be some preparation — of our hearts and minds, as well as with our hands.
For us in the Ramsey haus, we begin celebrating the Sabbath on Saturday nights, so lately, and this has been the biggest change in pursuing the Sabbath, Fridays and Saturdays have become “prep” days. We end our schooling week on Fridays around 10am and Alexander wraps up work early on Friday afternoons as well. For the last few years, Fridays have been wrap up days for me and the kids anyways, it’s when we run any last errands, quick grocery trips, we finish laundry and schooling and work inside and outside the house, so by the time dad is done working, so are we! Fridays are still Friday Night Pizza Nights, so getting all the extra, last minute work and errands done makes for a fun Friday night and eases us into our Saturdays which is when we tend to plan enjoyable activities or simple home projects and yet still feel ready to rest the following day.
In the Old Testament, God’s people used to prepare all their food ahead of time so they didn’t have to cook on the Sabbath, they also didn’t walk too far, as a way to physically rest. The Ramsey’s are not that intense, I make a big Sabbath meal Saturday nights to welcome the Sabbath and we still drive our car to church, but we know the Sabbath is holy, set apart and meant to be kept for stopping, resting, delighting and worshiping. So Saturdays (but mostly Fridays) are carved out for preparing for our Sabbath, to ensure it is indeed restful and full of worship. And honestly, these “prep” tasks usually fall on my shoulders, which I have come to take delight in.
Since Fridays are the days the kids and I wrap up our week, and Alexander finishes his work, Saturdays are filled with tidying up, writing down meals for the week ahead, hanging with friends, staying up later than usual, staying off screens, and most always starting a loaf of sourdough to then be baked the next morning after church. A few other ways we prepare for the Sabbath are Liliana cuts flowers from our yard — wild or purposely planted — and makes several bouquets for our table, I set out special candles, make sure we have a good bottle of wine and sparkling juice for the kids, we turn off our phones, I turn on a specific playlist, dim the lights, rid ourselves of distractions, and make a Sabbath meal — sometimes it’s a new recipe I’ve been wanting to try, other times it’s a simple staple we all love; at times we have friends over so it’s louder with extra tiny hands and bare feet pattering on the hardwood, but most often it’s just us, our sweet little family gathering to eat and delight in all our blessings.
One of the coolest (but truly hardest) things I’ve learned about the Sabbath is that the Sabbath doesn’t begin when all the dishes are done or every clean sock is put away in the correct drawer. The Sabbath just begins. It begins when God says it begins. Often on Saturday evenings there are still dishes in the sink and things to check off on my to-do list, but instead of stressing and rushing and striving, we simply stop. The obedience of this simple practice has been incredibly transformational in my walk with Jesus. I don’t have control over time anyway, I don’t have to strive, I don’t need to live like the world lives, I’m actually not suppose to. This is the easy yoke Jesus talks about, this is the easy yoke He has already given us.
So with dirty dishes in the sink, we begin celebrating our Sabbath — usually around sundown. We’ll pour a glass of wine, sit in front of a crackling fire, without distraction or needs. We’ll linger at the table with good friends, soft music playing in the background. We play fun games with the kids, get lost in a good book and tell stories, go on a slow walk together. Whatever seems delightful is what we tend to do. But don’t get me wrong, there are times when kids are screaming and bedtime happens earlier than expected. And in those moments we still say it is well because our hearts and home are still carrying the easy yoke and light burdens.
The next morning isn’t fixed by time, although we do have to get to church by 9am, but there are no alarms, no phones, just the sun (or our early rising child) waking us up. We eat a simple breakfast, don’t bother making our beds, I turn and mold my sourdough loaf and place it on the counter to let it double in size, and we’re off to church. Sometimes the kids want to sit in church with us, which we always welcome, and other times we serve in the kids ministry as a family, whatever church looks like that morning, it’s exciting and fulfilling.
Lately, we have a rhythm of going out for donuts and coffee after church, so we swing by a local bakery and walk around a nearby downtown area before heading back home for naps. The Ramsey’s are big on the rest portion of the Sabbath, it’s hard to say what aspect of the Sabbath is truly my favorite, but all of us taking a nap in the late morning or early afternoon in a quiet house is hard to beat. After naps we decide what to do as a family — we often say no to obligations or invites, like birthday parties or gatherings — the afternoon in our home is set aside for family time, so we usually go for a longer hike or walk or bike ride, play in the backyard, sit in front of a fire, make a latte and read a good book.
By this time, around 3pm, we ease our way back into the world — the world that doesn’t slow down and never honors a day of rest — we turn on our phones, I usually start a load of laundry and do the dishes that have piled up over the last 24 hours, we tidy up around the house and outside. On late Sunday afternoons, during the fall, winter and springtime, we meet with our small group through church, just for a few hours each week, we sing songs, break bread, talk through a passage of Scripture and the kids play together — it’s become one of the most worshipful things we’ve done on the Sabbath. Something we’ve learned is that the Sabbath was designed to be celebrated in community. And this type of community is the best way for us as a family to end our holy day, set aside to truly stop, rest, delight and worship.
I hope this gave you hope and a deeper desire to listen to Jesus’ invitation to “come all of you who are weak and weary…” This has been a practice for myself, and now my growing family, for over a decade, I didn’t start with prep days or turning off my phone for 24 hours. I started with not studying or doing homework on Sundays, but as each new season changed, so did our Sabbath — there have been slow and purposeful shifts in our week as we’ve learned, adapted, tried new things and become more of a family unit with more secure values and ways we choose to live. If you’re new at the Sabbath, or simply stopping and resting in general, start with a few hours or half a day, read the Bible and ask God what He thinks about the Sabbath, and then stop and listen. A few books on this topic that have helped over the years are: Sabbath written by Wayne Muller, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer and Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton. John Mark Comer, founder of Practicing the Way, created a podcast series of spiritual practices, here’s the first episode, of many, on the Sabbath.
I hope my words helped to bring your someday dream into a weekly reality.