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Motherhood | Responsible/Slow Living

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Design by Alexander Ramsey Creative.

Alexander & I dreamt of homes ever since we starte

Alexander & I dreamt of homes ever since we started dating. We would walk neighborhoods, pick our favorite house on the block & explain the updates we would personally make - mostly in disagreement (our styles were drastically different), but always choosing to learn more about each other.

We would dream of a big yard, kitchen remodels, lots of windows, flower boxes, paint colors, hardwood floors & plot out plans for where gardens would go & how cool we would make the garage look. Okay, the gardening was me & the garage was Alexander 🤪

But truly when I say that our styles were so different, I mean like worlds apart different. We’re so thankful we’ve had years of conversation & working alongside one another before finding our perfect home. But always within the disagreements, we spoke life into what we both wanted out of a home. The laughter, bare baby feet running down hallways, kids & friends & family piled around a kitchen table & nightly hangs by the fireplace with old fashions in hand.

The house we bought & are SO EAGER to move into is not simply a house, it’s a dream. And lots of hard work. And many years of living on 40% of Alexander’s income. Several hours spent investing into our businesses to create sustainability & freedom. So many dreams & prayers along the way have led us here.

When Alexander walked into the room & told me we got the house, we both cried. Our vision for our future, our plans for our babies, our dreaming...all of it was wrapped up in a single “yes” from a woman selling her home.

We move in 3 weeks from today. Both Alexander & I find it easy to live in the now & also in the future. We’re trying to enjoy the last few weeks where we currently are, but all of our conversations circle around bathroom renovations, which vegetables I’m hoping to harvest & how Alexander will organize the garage.

We’re eager to invest in & cultivate spaces in our new home, but the home we’re currently renting & living in has been such a sweet place for us to invest in these last 12 months. We moved in the middle of a world-wide shutdown & we didn’t even see the place before we moved in. Here are memories from living in this space for the last year ✨

yesterday we feasted on pink bunny pancakes & cele

yesterday we feasted on pink bunny pancakes & celebrated by hunting for eggs and with family — remembering who we are is Who we’re loved by.

happy Easter, everyone 🌸 He is risen indeed!

the feeling to take a step back is a strong gut re

the feeling to take a step back is a strong gut reaction for me. it makes me stop, but not draw away too quickly. the stopping is more of a look in the mirror rather than a tap on the brakes. if you knew me years ago, i was gone as quickly as i came. always onto the next thing. always wanting the “better” option. the “easier” route. i was easily distracted by shiny things. i failed at consistency. accept being consistently inconsistent.

i’m a 1 on the enneagram, very black & white. it’s either up or down. all in or nothing. but over the years, as i’ve grown as a woman and into the wife, mama, worshipper, neighbor, leader and daughter i was created to be, those inconsistencies seemed to disappear. living in the in between, finding spaces of grey and transitional periods of life didn’t bother me, i actually learned more about myself in those spaces.

i learned that i’m stronger than i thought.
i learned about grit and grace.
i learned how durable my heart & mind can be.
i learned about integrity & how much i long for it to be part of who i am.

when i’m feeling the need to step away, the brake lights don’t flash. there isn’t any jerk of the car coming from the driver's seat or feelings of shutting down. the feelings of taking a step back look more like a process. a lingering thought. a silent, days on-end-prayer.

lately, taking a step back has played out in giving myself margin in my days for when a friend needs something. it’s looked like taking a long bath after rocking sweet L to sleep. a few weeks ago it looked like me taking a 2 night solo vaca leaving Liliana with Alexander so i could get away, get sleep & sit in silence. on sundays it looks like turning off our phones & entering into true rest. and some time ago, still not sure how long it was, but it looked like me taking time off social media, so i could instead focus on my home, my sweet family, to invest in the members on my oily team & the gals who i work alongside.

margin. do you live with it? leaving space on the outskirts of our life for your heart and mind and for others. it’s the sweetest space.

<cont. in comments>

hey heyyy 👋🏼 we’re backkkkk! not much ha

hey heyyy 👋🏼 we’re backkkkk!

not much has changed, except we’re moving in a few weeks so packing has begun & and we can’t wait to bring you along on our next adventure!

i’ve been feeling a nudge to take time off insta

i’ve been feeling a nudge to take time off instagram again — to invest more in my hubs, sweet girl & our home.

not sure how long i’ll be off, but here i go ✌🏼

we often find sweet Liliana twirling in her room b

we often find sweet Liliana twirling in her room by herself & hear her singing in the backseat — it’s the best stage yet.

& she was overjoyed that she looked like her beloved Corduroy this morning in her little overalls.

being a writer has always been a dream. being a ma

being a writer has always been a dream. being a mama has always been a bigger dream of mine. sharing my sweet thoughts & prayers & words with my sweet babies...the ultimate dream ✨

my dad and i wrote letters to each other all growing up. and Alexander and i have always written each other letters. it’s old school. and we love it.

and as soon as we found out we were pregnant with sweet L (over 2 and half years ago 🥺), i began to dream & write & pray & sing over her growing in my tummy.

i have a journal i will someday give to Liliana. i’ve written down prayers, stories, and hopes for her. i often write how she has the bravest dad & how i pray we will be besties for the resties (maybe that won’t actually be a saying in years to come).

so A and I wrote love letters to Liliana yesterday, we kept it simple & said Jesus loves her & we love her too. and then we dug into dark chocolate & fell asleep together on the couch.

there’s something special about writing letters. it slows time down. it’s brings us back to pre-modern technology & quick words typed out on a screen. it brings us back to the grandest love story ever written. in a big book, filled with wisdom & stories & of the greatest Love there is.

every night before i lay Liliana down to sleep, i whisper to her that she is worthy, beautiful & loved — those were the first words i spoke over her when she was born. and i pray & ask Jesus to comfort her when she’s afraid, to give her sound sleep & sweet dreams.

writing & singing & speaking truth and love over our babes brings light & peace & slowness to motherhood & to their tiny hearts. i don’t need a holiday to share how i feel about my girl, but i definitely won’t make an excuse to not tell her just how beautiful & worthy & loved she is.

this last week while we were in West Palm, i met w

this last week while we were in West Palm, i met with a holistic educator & trainer — she’s Korean and has been practicing eastern medicine for decades! we chatted about diet, exercise, rest and more. and after a short session with her, she told me i needed to rest more (and strengthen my core 😂). my body is telling me i need rest. physical rest, mental rest, emotion rest. my body, specifically my kidneys and liver, are suffering (not failing, just tired), they’re workin too hard.

i have been processing her advice — thinking about my day-to-day — because how we spend our days is how we spend our lives! most days i spend time in solitude. most days i take it slow — sip my coffee, not just guzzle it down; choose tea and natural energy boosters like Ningxia and oils, not succumb to sugary drinks and false advertising. most days i rely on listening to my body & leaning into rhythms that support my emotions, my physical needs and the needs of my family and home. but these haven’t been enough.

and the wild piece is, i don’t work 40+ hours a week. i don’t stay up past 10pm every night. i don’t eat processed sugars or things wrapped in plastic. i don’t rely on caffeine to keep me going. and i don’t agonize over social media, the news, a “pandemic” or stare mindlessly at screens. all of these heighten stress, heighten anxiety and heighten overwhelm.

maybe you don’t think this is absolutely WILD. but i do.

so today i’m logging out of social for 24+ hours, something i do every. single. week. today i’m going to go to bed early because it’s snowing outside & i’m exhausted from traveling. today i’m saying no to sugar, to fast meals, to quick & easy. and instead i’m saying yes to making a meal for my fam, where we will sit around a table, with no phones, no distractions. we’ll make eye contact, listen to one another & savor a delicious new recipe i’m choosing to make.

and tomorrow? we will wake up with no alarms. we will eat heart-shaped pancakes or waffles that i’ll make from scratch (obviii, it takes 10 minutes). i will fill the diffuser with something sweet. and we will rest and nap and play in the snow (unless it’s still 2 degrees outside). we are taking it slooooow!

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